Monday, December 31, 2007
Slug Course fraught with danger...
...i was out this morning, snooping around the course. wet leaves are still covering the foot hazards, and the wooden walkways (over the swamps) are like ice. you can skate across them, and one slip, you're going over the edge. all in all, the trail is in fair / good shape. till you get to the last half mile. construction continues! so i sneaked around looking for a good path to cross back over to the start / finish area. due to the increased pond-monster sightings ranger rick has guard dogs and snipers posted. we definitely won't be sneaking through the construction site. so, i found an old trail, maybe a quarter mile long to hash through. i'm gonna call it the gary cantrell section (if you don't know who g.c. is then you need to come to my house after the run and drink some brew.) i wish all a happy new year. be careful out there this evening, if you're going out. i want to see ya next saturday. happy days, john.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Final Preparations underway for ’08 Fattest Butt….
The course appears to be in fair/good condition, though there is continuing construction on a short stretch. This will create a minor detour, but won’t add significantly to the mileage. Pokey and I were out on it yesterday, and there are a lot of leaves covering the roots, stumps, and other assorted bumps. This means, especially if it’s wet, you’ll probably need to slow down a bit and be extra careful. While the course is basically flat, there are some very short hills (up and down); and stretches of wooden walkway (covering swampy areas) that when wet get slick as sh(i)t. No joke, if not careful you could easily break something out there. Nearly each non-event someone departs good ole Dela-where requiring a couple of stitches. Makes for great pics, but we don’t want anyone hurt.
OK, you’ve seen the non-event instructions below. This is NOT a race. We’re a small gang of slugs / potential slugs; out for a long winter’s run. Please check in promptly at 800 AM in the main parking lot, one mile inside the main entrance of the park. I’d love to get you all started by 820, definitely no later than, 830. Following each loop, I ask that you check in with whoever’s keeping the times. I’m a runner myself, and know exactly how we are. We may be non- competitive as haile, but we still want our times right. I can dig that. However, we will be operating fat ass format, skeleton crew, and need your assistance.
TSI will supply pond-water and stale bread, though Pokey (and she knows) advises you not to drink it. Please bring whatever food / drink stuff you need to finish. A communal table will be set up if you would like to bring anything to share.
There is no time limit, but the park closes at dark. You’ll have approximately eight hours to finish. If you are not finished, we will move the vehicles outside the park, and somehow we’ll work out a deal to let you finish. There is no reason to quit, except you don’t want to run no more.
All first-time finishers will have an opportunity to buy the slug shirt, and if you’re one of the vets I’ve got some sweet 2008 Finisher Slug-Muggs. Also a few truckers’ hats are left over from the fall if you’re interested. All are Ten U.S. Dollars, or trade, in-kind. Other TSI logo apparel may be purchased on-line at Café Press.
Finally, I appreciate you taking the time out of your winter schedule and joining us for this non-event. We always have a good time, and I’m excited to be seeing some old friends, and meeting some new ones. If you have any questions / concerns my home number is (302)678-3325, and my cell number morning of race is (302)399-6409. See ya in less than a week.
John.
OK, you’ve seen the non-event instructions below. This is NOT a race. We’re a small gang of slugs / potential slugs; out for a long winter’s run. Please check in promptly at 800 AM in the main parking lot, one mile inside the main entrance of the park. I’d love to get you all started by 820, definitely no later than, 830. Following each loop, I ask that you check in with whoever’s keeping the times. I’m a runner myself, and know exactly how we are. We may be non- competitive as haile, but we still want our times right. I can dig that. However, we will be operating fat ass format, skeleton crew, and need your assistance.
TSI will supply pond-water and stale bread, though Pokey (and she knows) advises you not to drink it. Please bring whatever food / drink stuff you need to finish. A communal table will be set up if you would like to bring anything to share.
There is no time limit, but the park closes at dark. You’ll have approximately eight hours to finish. If you are not finished, we will move the vehicles outside the park, and somehow we’ll work out a deal to let you finish. There is no reason to quit, except you don’t want to run no more.
All first-time finishers will have an opportunity to buy the slug shirt, and if you’re one of the vets I’ve got some sweet 2008 Finisher Slug-Muggs. Also a few truckers’ hats are left over from the fall if you’re interested. All are Ten U.S. Dollars, or trade, in-kind. Other TSI logo apparel may be purchased on-line at Café Press.
Finally, I appreciate you taking the time out of your winter schedule and joining us for this non-event. We always have a good time, and I’m excited to be seeing some old friends, and meeting some new ones. If you have any questions / concerns my home number is (302)678-3325, and my cell number morning of race is (302)399-6409. See ya in less than a week.
John.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Chief Army Slug checks in...
...and will not be attending Fattest Butt. That means the field is wide open, and we could be welcoming a new champ into the fold. Mark sends the following greetings:
Dear Da' Hitman,
Nearly settled in San Antonio; nice to be focused on a
different part of world for a change. The middle east
was starting to wear on me. Wanted to pass along my
holiday wishes. Unfortunately, I will not be able to
make this years fattest butt. I will however be
thinking of you all as I attempt the Bandera 100K on the
same day. Hopefully the race director won't keep on
telling me I'm running too slow; always a tough crowd
at the pond!
Have a great new year,
Chief Army Slug
Mark Crisman
{...and of course, he's referring to nearly breaking four hours,
and then having the non-event director (Ms.Lisa, my personal favorite
Non-Event Director in the whole world) tell him he's slowing down.
It really was funny; but suppose you had to be there...}
Of course, as the years pass; the "words between the two" will
become more and more exaggerated, until they are outright lies.
It's the Slug-Way.
Dear Da' Hitman,
Nearly settled in San Antonio; nice to be focused on a
different part of world for a change. The middle east
was starting to wear on me. Wanted to pass along my
holiday wishes. Unfortunately, I will not be able to
make this years fattest butt. I will however be
thinking of you all as I attempt the Bandera 100K on the
same day. Hopefully the race director won't keep on
telling me I'm running too slow; always a tough crowd
at the pond!
Have a great new year,
Chief Army Slug
Mark Crisman
{...and of course, he's referring to nearly breaking four hours,
and then having the non-event director (Ms.Lisa, my personal favorite
Non-Event Director in the whole world) tell him he's slowing down.
It really was funny; but suppose you had to be there...}
Of course, as the years pass; the "words between the two" will
become more and more exaggerated, until they are outright lies.
It's the Slug-Way.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Merry Christmas Sluggos ...
Yes, it's true ... Santa is a Slug. Don't act surprised; check out his bee-hind in this picture. Probably the Original Fattest Butt. Happy Days Friends, and Merry Christmas.
Monday, December 24, 2007
2008 Fattest Butt Instructions...
1. This is a Non-Event in the truest of olde-tyme fat ass fashion. This is a group of friends getting together on a winter morning to complete a long run. Due to the lack of ultras in the First State we will have a timekeeper, and results will be posted on the internet and submitted to Ultrarunning Magazine. UR has for many years, been kind enough to support our small band of stragglers. This will allow those attempting to complete a marathon / ultra in fifty states to notch up Delaware. It is NOT an official event. It will NOT qualify you for Boston.
2. There will be no numbers for you to wear, no aid stations, and no markings on the course. If you see Ranger Rick wish him a fine day; but remember, we are not holding an organized race. We are olde & new friends, sluggos, out getting some early season exercise. This is one rule Team Slug has never had to exaggerate about. We have been disorganized from Day One.
3. The course is not marked. It is a hiking path around a pond. It is mostly flat, and certainly must be considered one of the easiest fifty k’s in the world. Ten loops, with access to your aid after each five kilometers. Team Slug will supply pond water and stale bread. If you need any special food / fuel to finish; please bring it. Feel free to bring extra; there will be a communal table. There is NO time limit, but the park closes at dark. If necessary, we will move vehicles outside of park to a nearby school; and assist you in finishing your run. We’d prefer you not quit.
4. Again, this is NOT a real race. There is NO entry fee. That’s right, it is FREE. Bandits are encouraged to participate. There are no particular rules. Cheating in an ultra is completely defeating the purpose. However, if you complete the tenth lap in less than four hours; you will either be disqualified, or allowed to complete one more lap. We don’t want any more fast slugs; we’ve got enough of them.
5. If you finish ten laps; you are authorized (not required) to purchase the World-Famous 100% Cotton, Black Team Slug T-Shirt. At that point; you will be scarred for Life / a Marked Ultra-Runner / a Slug Forever. Be aware hundreds of the finest and lousiest ultra runners in the world have earned this shirt. If you already have a T-Shirt, a 2008 TSI Finisher’s mugg will be available for purchase. We have a few truckers’ hats left over from the fall also, if you prefer one of those. These are available for Ten U.S. Dollars each. Trades in kind considered.
6. Please be at the main entrance of Killen’s Pond State Park in Kent County, Delaware by 0745 on Saturday morning. The gates usually open about 0800, and we should get the run started by 0830. Please don’t ask me for directions. Delaware is a small state. If you can’t find the park, it wouldn’t be safe for you to be near the pond. I will have my cell phone on that morning if you need to reach me. The number is (302)399-6409.
2. There will be no numbers for you to wear, no aid stations, and no markings on the course. If you see Ranger Rick wish him a fine day; but remember, we are not holding an organized race. We are olde & new friends, sluggos, out getting some early season exercise. This is one rule Team Slug has never had to exaggerate about. We have been disorganized from Day One.
3. The course is not marked. It is a hiking path around a pond. It is mostly flat, and certainly must be considered one of the easiest fifty k’s in the world. Ten loops, with access to your aid after each five kilometers. Team Slug will supply pond water and stale bread. If you need any special food / fuel to finish; please bring it. Feel free to bring extra; there will be a communal table. There is NO time limit, but the park closes at dark. If necessary, we will move vehicles outside of park to a nearby school; and assist you in finishing your run. We’d prefer you not quit.
4. Again, this is NOT a real race. There is NO entry fee. That’s right, it is FREE. Bandits are encouraged to participate. There are no particular rules. Cheating in an ultra is completely defeating the purpose. However, if you complete the tenth lap in less than four hours; you will either be disqualified, or allowed to complete one more lap. We don’t want any more fast slugs; we’ve got enough of them.
5. If you finish ten laps; you are authorized (not required) to purchase the World-Famous 100% Cotton, Black Team Slug T-Shirt. At that point; you will be scarred for Life / a Marked Ultra-Runner / a Slug Forever. Be aware hundreds of the finest and lousiest ultra runners in the world have earned this shirt. If you already have a T-Shirt, a 2008 TSI Finisher’s mugg will be available for purchase. We have a few truckers’ hats left over from the fall also, if you prefer one of those. These are available for Ten U.S. Dollars each. Trades in kind considered.
6. Please be at the main entrance of Killen’s Pond State Park in Kent County, Delaware by 0745 on Saturday morning. The gates usually open about 0800, and we should get the run started by 0830. Please don’t ask me for directions. Delaware is a small state. If you can’t find the park, it wouldn’t be safe for you to be near the pond. I will have my cell phone on that morning if you need to reach me. The number is (302)399-6409.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
The field is set for the 18th Fattest Butt....
Congrats to all...
Details in next week...or so !!!
...The Lucky Twenty-Nine....
Fattest Butt Confirmed Victims:
1. Amanda Bundek, DE
2. Derek Hills, MD
3. Louis D'Onofrio, NJ
4. Gilles Barbeau, Vancouver, BC
5. Jess Manning, DE
6. Josh Dennis, NJ
7. Phillip Hesser, MD
8. John Straub, DE
9. Debbee Straub, DE
10. Larry Macon, GA
11. Mike Kulakowski, PA
12. Meredith Murphy, USA
13. Edward Murphy, USA
14. A.J. Johnson, NJ
15. Jeff Holloway, NJ
16. Carl Camp, DE
17. Alisa Springman, PA
18. Miguel Gomez Verdun, VA
19. Andrea Berninger, NC
20. Terri Hayes, SC
21. Frank Gousman Jr, NJ
22. Staci Rudnitsky, NYC
23. Lloyd Thomas, OH
24. Richard Monroe, MD
25. Anders Grant, MD
26. Patti Lipschutz, PA
27. Aaron Lipschutz, PA
28. Eugene Bruckert, IL
29. Craig See, DE
Details in next week...or so !!!
...The Lucky Twenty-Nine....
Fattest Butt Confirmed Victims:
1. Amanda Bundek, DE
2. Derek Hills, MD
3. Louis D'Onofrio, NJ
4. Gilles Barbeau, Vancouver, BC
5. Jess Manning, DE
6. Josh Dennis, NJ
7. Phillip Hesser, MD
8. John Straub, DE
9. Debbee Straub, DE
10. Larry Macon, GA
11. Mike Kulakowski, PA
12. Meredith Murphy, USA
13. Edward Murphy, USA
14. A.J. Johnson, NJ
15. Jeff Holloway, NJ
16. Carl Camp, DE
17. Alisa Springman, PA
18. Miguel Gomez Verdun, VA
19. Andrea Berninger, NC
20. Terri Hayes, SC
21. Frank Gousman Jr, NJ
22. Staci Rudnitsky, NYC
23. Lloyd Thomas, OH
24. Richard Monroe, MD
25. Anders Grant, MD
26. Patti Lipschutz, PA
27. Aaron Lipschutz, PA
28. Eugene Bruckert, IL
29. Craig See, DE
Friday, December 14, 2007
pokey crawls out of swamp....
on hands and knees, barely breathin'...and reports disturbing phenomena. hitman went in with her on saturday morning, and has not been seen since. he apparently disappeared while taking a "main-drain" down at the water's edge. the fbi has NOT been notified, because of other "outstanding issues in virginia, florida, and the phillipines involving ranger rick, pink ribbons, coconut-covered marshmallows, and naked ladies." BIGGER PROBLEMS LURK ... pokey is reporting something slogging around in the slug-pond, and IT definitely "ain't" da'hitman. IT appears to be a large fish-monster of some sort, scaley and green, with large bug-eyes and a tail about eight feet long. this of course would explain the missing downstate delaware geese. regardless of all this "likely criminal behavior" the non-event will go on. pitiful sluggos will plod all day long, and finish the slug course. some will be lost forever in the forest, wandering out in the spring; looking ghoulish, distraught, and emaciated. and, likely; they'll have on the same black slug shirt, ripped, shorn, and hanging over a beatin' heart inside a bag of bones. friends ... this AIN'T pretty stuff ... please !!! for Goodness SAKES ... find something else to do on the first saturday in january. coming here for the SHIRT can lead to no good; DO NOT DO IT !!!! this is your last warning.... flatfoot freddie....
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Ted Corbitt --- courtesy of Rich Innamorato
Dear Friends,
Today the music has died.........for the running community and for humanity.
Ted Corbitt has sadly passed away at the age of 88 at the MD Anderson Center
in Houston, TX. He bravely was fighting a personal battle against cancer,
but had developed heart and respiratory complications which could not be
cured.
I was able to visit Ted this past Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. It was
heartbreaking to see this giant of a man in a hospital bed. When he first
saw me, he amusingly asked, "You flew?" I am a notorious bad flyer, and Ted
had witnessed some of my previously anxieties. I responded, "Weren't you
glad that you weren't in the seat next to me."
I greatly thank you for all your heartfelt messages, and so did Ted. He was
not able to read them, so I read each one to him with a brief introduction
of the "writer" of each message. Your words were very comforting.
We all know his legendary feats as a runner, but he was even a far greater
person.
He was a humanitarian. One of his great gifts was not to prejudge people
just as he would not want to be prejudged. He accepted you for who you were
and allowed you to be yourself.
He was healer..... and dedicated his life to provide cure and comfort to the
critically disabled and injured. He was still treating patients just before
his latest illness.
He was a scholar. He had a great propensity to "learn" no matter the
subject matter. His own success, whether it was cerebral or physical, was
due to that desire to learn. And how he could apply the newly-found
information the next time.
He was a marvel. How he would push his limits no matter the obstacles.
Even as an octogenarian, he walked 303 miles in 6 days while enduring shin
splints. Life was a series of tests for him, and it was the partaking that
was the most important not the passing or failing.
He led by example every single day, and his character, dedication, kindness
and values all touched our lives. We are richer to know him or know of him.
May he always live in peace and be blessed by God. I will greatly miss him.
Love,
Rich Innamorato
Today the music has died.........for the running community and for humanity.
Ted Corbitt has sadly passed away at the age of 88 at the MD Anderson Center
in Houston, TX. He bravely was fighting a personal battle against cancer,
but had developed heart and respiratory complications which could not be
cured.
I was able to visit Ted this past Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. It was
heartbreaking to see this giant of a man in a hospital bed. When he first
saw me, he amusingly asked, "You flew?" I am a notorious bad flyer, and Ted
had witnessed some of my previously anxieties. I responded, "Weren't you
glad that you weren't in the seat next to me."
I greatly thank you for all your heartfelt messages, and so did Ted. He was
not able to read them, so I read each one to him with a brief introduction
of the "writer" of each message. Your words were very comforting.
We all know his legendary feats as a runner, but he was even a far greater
person.
He was a humanitarian. One of his great gifts was not to prejudge people
just as he would not want to be prejudged. He accepted you for who you were
and allowed you to be yourself.
He was healer..... and dedicated his life to provide cure and comfort to the
critically disabled and injured. He was still treating patients just before
his latest illness.
He was a scholar. He had a great propensity to "learn" no matter the
subject matter. His own success, whether it was cerebral or physical, was
due to that desire to learn. And how he could apply the newly-found
information the next time.
He was a marvel. How he would push his limits no matter the obstacles.
Even as an octogenarian, he walked 303 miles in 6 days while enduring shin
splints. Life was a series of tests for him, and it was the partaking that
was the most important not the passing or failing.
He led by example every single day, and his character, dedication, kindness
and values all touched our lives. We are richer to know him or know of him.
May he always live in peace and be blessed by God. I will greatly miss him.
Love,
Rich Innamorato
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
ROCKSTAR checks in !!!
...ok all ya hardcore sluggo-fans. The ROCKSTAR (Honorary Slug allniteywoblius) has registered, and has promised a guest appearance..."to burn off a few brewskies." as many of ya know he is the founder, and race director, of the First States ONLY "One Hundred Mile-Run." while his 8 X 10 autographed glossies are currently going for $129.95 on e-bay; he's promised to make a dozen or so available at $75.00 flat-fee. of course, there's no tax in delaware. remember the ROCKSTAR only accepts "dollar bills," only goodness knows what he does with them. as always, John Clark and the Governor has been invited. More details coming!!!
Monday, December 10, 2007
don't mix insanity with beer....
...or you get these types of letters...
Forest Gump said...
As your newest victim it’s important to remember that I have been coerced into running this non event. I don't even like to run. Your slugger from last year AJ Johnson has guilted me into the event threatening to alert our entire community that I have become comfortable and accustomed to sloth. Consider the results of last event I was forced to participate in. I was found, suffering from heat exhaustion, aimlessly wandering a rest stop along the Garden State Parkway, mumbling incoherently with the juice of a BK Whopper dripping from my mouth. There is serious concern about my mental well being. This weekend when I told some friends about the non event they affectionately asked what my problem was. Consider yourselves fore warned. This weekend , after only four hours of sleep I was dragged out onto the muddy trails in South Seaville, NJ by AJ and forced to run under duress. I was not sure if puking was appropriate but around the 13th mile I was seriously considering lying down in the sand and taking a nap. I would have if I had not already begun suffering from the classic symptoms of hyperthermia. I will be doing my best to complete the coarse. I would suggest that all who attends bring an extra meal or reserve a room so that you are comfortable while waiting for me to limp across the finish. If you find me on the trail with my heel smacking me in the back of my head in complete agony just leave me there. Until then I'll continue preparing as best I can. Does anyone know if the local hospital accepts HORIZON PPO's?
Forest Gump said...
As your newest victim it’s important to remember that I have been coerced into running this non event. I don't even like to run. Your slugger from last year AJ Johnson has guilted me into the event threatening to alert our entire community that I have become comfortable and accustomed to sloth. Consider the results of last event I was forced to participate in. I was found, suffering from heat exhaustion, aimlessly wandering a rest stop along the Garden State Parkway, mumbling incoherently with the juice of a BK Whopper dripping from my mouth. There is serious concern about my mental well being. This weekend when I told some friends about the non event they affectionately asked what my problem was. Consider yourselves fore warned. This weekend , after only four hours of sleep I was dragged out onto the muddy trails in South Seaville, NJ by AJ and forced to run under duress. I was not sure if puking was appropriate but around the 13th mile I was seriously considering lying down in the sand and taking a nap. I would have if I had not already begun suffering from the classic symptoms of hyperthermia. I will be doing my best to complete the coarse. I would suggest that all who attends bring an extra meal or reserve a room so that you are comfortable while waiting for me to limp across the finish. If you find me on the trail with my heel smacking me in the back of my head in complete agony just leave me there. Until then I'll continue preparing as best I can. Does anyone know if the local hospital accepts HORIZON PPO's?
Thursday, December 06, 2007
pokey-slug on recon mission this saturday...
...as the fattest butt 50k creeps closer. pokey will be out scouting around, observing ranger rick movement throughout the slug forest. recent ice and snow has the trail mighty slickery. we sent wrong-way charlie out sunday morning, but haven't seen him since. best to keep a close eye on cnn, or fox news. he has a bad habit of climbing the fence at the white house. which, i don't mind; except when he's wearin' his slug shirt. see, i don't like those black helicopters hovering around my house. anywho, the days are flyin' by; and the field is nearly set. i expect to post full directions to this blog by the last week of december. that should give all victims plenty of time to change their minds. from the frozen tundra of central delaware...
flattest foot freddie.
p.s.direct all questions, comments, and threats to "teamslug1@comcast.net"
flattest foot freddie.
p.s.direct all questions, comments, and threats to "teamslug1@comcast.net"
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
2007 SI Sportsman of Year...
while disappointed ole' flatfoot freddie wasn't named SI Sportsman of the Year...Team Slug congratulates Mr. Brett Favre!...a World-Famous Team Slug t-shirt is on it's way to Mr.Favre. Additionally, Mr. Favre is offered free lifetime entry into any Official Team Slug non-event. No doubt, he'd attend Fattest Butt; however, he's still playing with the Pack. And, what a season he's having! Good Luck ole buddy!!!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
tell me why you run everyday.....
Today I wandered back out onto the Super-Secret TSI training compound here in Central Delaware. It's really a beautiful area of this old world --- you may say, postcard perfect. Full of pines, hardwoods, and a serene pond; full of mirrored water. Critters jumping, running, and sounding off in their native tongues. On this cold mid-Atlantic morning, I encountered deer, squirrels, and a large red fox. The woodpeckers were out in force, staking their claims to corners of the forest; apparently unaware of my presence as they carried out their noisy duties. And, at such an early hour; not another human was seen. It's easy to think of this as a perfect place to run; the path blanketed with fallen leaves, winding around a quaint body of water; with perfect views at every bend. But....
...this is not what makes this part of the First State an inspirational place to train. Because there have been so many other parts of the country, and world; that I have loved to run in. What makes this place special is the same thing that made my thousands of miles on Noland Trail and Seashore State Park; or, my many thousands of miles in Blackwater State Forest special. Rather, it was the people I shared the times with.
As a runner, it's difficult not to remininse; no doubt, many of you understand exactly how i feel. Running is passionate, so alive; so breathtaking. Sharing it becomes intimate. We know each other at our best; and our worst. We've struggled together, and shared incredible joy together. Runners have been my best friends for over twenty years now. I like them.
And, today was one of those days when it all came back. For all the emotional distress, and pain, of the past several months; today was a good day. Recalling special friends and special times; and remembering that today i am exactly where i'm supposed to be. As are you. And we're all OK; doing the best that we can. Each morning when i look in the mirror, i say a prayer for each of you, and for me. That we may all keep our hearts open to giving and receiving love. If you're reading this, then you've made a difference in my life (or you will); and i appreciate you. That you can be sure of.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
42 days till Fattest Butt '08
frost on the pumpkin's ; this mornin'....
details posted on this site by 12/15.
details posted on this site by 12/15.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Dear Mr. Hitman,
After much discussion and coercion, I am officially throwing my name, as well my wife's name (Debbee), into the hat for the Fattest Butt 08 run. The snowshoes are ready, with sharpened edges to handle the steep glacial hills of Delaware. Ice axes will be out in an attempt to ward off the killer squirrels, but I only have 6000 feet of rope... Hopefully the global warming turns quickly so that it is cooler than last years jungle. I am also trying to recruit anyone else foolish enough from work to show up like Aggie Slug Leif did last year - so far there are no takers...
By the way, we saw your undercover arse at JFK, and ran into many other slugs out and about during the run.
Have a great Thanksgiving and Holiday season, and we will see you in January!
Talk to you later,
John Straub
p.s. dude; those hunter s. thompson sunglasses gotta go :)
By the way, we saw your undercover arse at JFK, and ran into many other slugs out and about during the run.
Have a great Thanksgiving and Holiday season, and we will see you in January!
Talk to you later,
John Straub
p.s. dude; those hunter s. thompson sunglasses gotta go :)
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving Sluggos...
...and what a beautiful day it is. I stuck my "big bird" in the oven at six a.m. ; and was outside on the trails. wobbling along through the forest, smiling like a madman; just like the olde days. i am still fat; but i feel good, and i've been here before. i am on my way back; and life is good. cain't lie; '07 was a rough year, and i won't mind seein' it go; but, '08 is gonna be a great one, i can feel it.
today i am thankful for so much; my family, my health, and my friends. and, that includes each of you. time is precious; so if you're taking the time to read this; turn to your family and take the time to tell them how much you care. we are passing through; i promise you. the day is coming when we don't wake up; and it's o.k. ... so, let's make today count!
happy days, da' hitman
today i am thankful for so much; my family, my health, and my friends. and, that includes each of you. time is precious; so if you're taking the time to read this; turn to your family and take the time to tell them how much you care. we are passing through; i promise you. the day is coming when we don't wake up; and it's o.k. ... so, let's make today count!
happy days, da' hitman
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Threats, Lies, and Letters to the Editor...
Dearest Slug Brother!
Due to a slight lack in judgement (err. . .running JFK), I'm currently fiberglassed up to the left knee and in desperate need of some ginger brandy and cute nurses adorned with the rumored "TeamSlug Thong". Despite Pokey Slug's acute warnings, I ran the darned thing anyhow and managed to break my fibula around mile 15. As stubborn as I am, I decided to just try to beat it into submission (it worked when I twisted my ankle at the RBC 50K), but that apparently isn't a good thing to do when the bone is fractured. So, I hobbled along to mile 27, when our dear Pokey played the role of Florence Nightingale and came sprinting to my rescue.
Anyhow, I don't think I'll be up for running the January Fattest Butt. However, I wouldn't miss it for the world. I do intend to show up and egg the able bodied folk on in whatever capacity I can. In addition, I have had two lovely young ladies promise their attendance. Their names are:
Meredith Murphy--King of Prussia PA, and
Andrea Berninger--from somewhere in VA (warning, she's fast, and although this is her first ultra, i can almost guarantee we'll need to throw an extra loop in for her).
Hope all is well, and I hope you have a great Turkey Day!
Regards,
Down and Durty Slug
_________________________________________________
Dear Bro' Da Hitman,
Were you undercover at the JFK this past weekend? I did see Sistah Pokey Slug,
but didn't realize that you might have been there; and, stealthily leaving your snail trail around
and about.
Anyway, you might have learned that I did the distance once again in
slime time, just under the final cutoff at 11:47. It was a great day
out - and the evening was just as good, getting my fill of carbs,
protein, and alcohol at the Bavarian restaurant in Hagerstown.
Anyway, Sistah Pokey Slug took advantage of my disoriented state to
take some snaps of my sorry backside somewhere in the middle miles. (It
is irrelevant that I might have waved it at her in greeting, since my
hands were taken up with my canteen and a large handful of potato
chips!)
I hope that this gesture won't be taken amiss as I once again put my
hat in the ring (or my pseudopod on the line) for the event in January.
If I haven't compromised the customary standards of conduct of the
inveterate invertebrates, I would look forward to meeting you in January
at the usual rendezvous spot near a certain Delaware body of water.
For now, here's hoping that you add me to your roster (waiving the
character requirement) and have a nice Thanksgiving. Warm sluggish
regards to you and Sis PS, Bro' Sir Sweet Cheeks
Due to a slight lack in judgement (err. . .running JFK), I'm currently fiberglassed up to the left knee and in desperate need of some ginger brandy and cute nurses adorned with the rumored "TeamSlug Thong". Despite Pokey Slug's acute warnings, I ran the darned thing anyhow and managed to break my fibula around mile 15. As stubborn as I am, I decided to just try to beat it into submission (it worked when I twisted my ankle at the RBC 50K), but that apparently isn't a good thing to do when the bone is fractured. So, I hobbled along to mile 27, when our dear Pokey played the role of Florence Nightingale and came sprinting to my rescue.
Anyhow, I don't think I'll be up for running the January Fattest Butt. However, I wouldn't miss it for the world. I do intend to show up and egg the able bodied folk on in whatever capacity I can. In addition, I have had two lovely young ladies promise their attendance. Their names are:
Meredith Murphy--King of Prussia PA, and
Andrea Berninger--from somewhere in VA (warning, she's fast, and although this is her first ultra, i can almost guarantee we'll need to throw an extra loop in for her).
Hope all is well, and I hope you have a great Turkey Day!
Regards,
Down and Durty Slug
_________________________________________________
Dear Bro' Da Hitman,
Were you undercover at the JFK this past weekend? I did see Sistah Pokey Slug,
but didn't realize that you might have been there; and, stealthily leaving your snail trail around
and about.
Anyway, you might have learned that I did the distance once again in
slime time, just under the final cutoff at 11:47. It was a great day
out - and the evening was just as good, getting my fill of carbs,
protein, and alcohol at the Bavarian restaurant in Hagerstown.
Anyway, Sistah Pokey Slug took advantage of my disoriented state to
take some snaps of my sorry backside somewhere in the middle miles. (It
is irrelevant that I might have waved it at her in greeting, since my
hands were taken up with my canteen and a large handful of potato
chips!)
I hope that this gesture won't be taken amiss as I once again put my
hat in the ring (or my pseudopod on the line) for the event in January.
If I haven't compromised the customary standards of conduct of the
inveterate invertebrates, I would look forward to meeting you in January
at the usual rendezvous spot near a certain Delaware body of water.
For now, here's hoping that you add me to your roster (waiving the
character requirement) and have a nice Thanksgiving. Warm sluggish
regards to you and Sis PS, Bro' Sir Sweet Cheeks
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Always calling me home....
What a perfect day at JFK. Nice temps, nice breeze; and tons of nice people. In fact, 1070 finishers; incredible! Recreational runners and serious athletes, olde friends, and friends that have moved on; people I've known for over twenty years; and people I've met at Slug events this year. What a beautiful life!
Running changes our perceptions of the world around us. It makes good times great; and makes the hard times acceptable. I've been struggling for so long; it's good to smile and laugh; and see those old familiar faces. Looking down through the finisher's roster is like a family reunion. And those olde familiar names bring joy to my heart. I am so happy for each of you. I understand the magnitude of the accomplishment; and cherish it, just like you. So tonight my friends; congratulations! I hope your holiday season is the best ever. From Team Slug, and The Hitman; happy days, flattest foot freddie.
Running changes our perceptions of the world around us. It makes good times great; and makes the hard times acceptable. I've been struggling for so long; it's good to smile and laugh; and see those old familiar faces. Looking down through the finisher's roster is like a family reunion. And those olde familiar names bring joy to my heart. I am so happy for each of you. I understand the magnitude of the accomplishment; and cherish it, just like you. So tonight my friends; congratulations! I hope your holiday season is the best ever. From Team Slug, and The Hitman; happy days, flattest foot freddie.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Fattest Butt... T minus 59 days !!!
...that's less than two months for you smart sluggos; so the planning must begin. flatfoot freddie has been in consultation with The Weather Channel, and an old witchdoctor friend in n'oleans. they seem to agree on one thing. fatt butt day is gonna be colder and wetter than last year's non-event.
it wouldn't be unusual for us to have a foot or two of snow on the trail. which, normally wouldn't be a problem; except for the extremely steep drop-offs, and treacherous precipices that often form; up to six feet thick; as glacial ice overtakes the deepest and darkest forest. throw in the central delaware womkpon wolves; and you're taking your life in your own hands. in fact; i certainly advise you not to come. and, if you must; then definitely bring cold weather gear, 7000 yards of high-tensile climbing rope, crampons; and at least a weeks supply of dried beans. any less, is just too dangerous. remember; no firearms in the park... it's probably safe to bring a crossbow.
for first time sluggos; beware, this is NOT a race. this is a non-event. we make normal fat-ass events, look like the london marathon. this is BE-Low key. if you finish, if you come out of the woods alive, and if ya got ten u.s. dollars; for your efforts, you will receive the "World Famous, 100% cotton, Team Slug T-Shirt." if there is some food / drink you need to finish; please bring it. i assure you we will not have it; as with all slug events we will serve stale bread, and pond water (unless it's frozen).
If you've told me your coming; all good; but shoot me a quick note, confirming; and i look forward to seeing you in january. remember this event is limited to the first 39,500 entrants. (so register early) we hope to surpass the nyc starting field. and yes, katie holmes has been invited; and no, lance hasn't. team slug don't want no girly bike riders in our forest.
happy days, the big brown pony...
it wouldn't be unusual for us to have a foot or two of snow on the trail. which, normally wouldn't be a problem; except for the extremely steep drop-offs, and treacherous precipices that often form; up to six feet thick; as glacial ice overtakes the deepest and darkest forest. throw in the central delaware womkpon wolves; and you're taking your life in your own hands. in fact; i certainly advise you not to come. and, if you must; then definitely bring cold weather gear, 7000 yards of high-tensile climbing rope, crampons; and at least a weeks supply of dried beans. any less, is just too dangerous. remember; no firearms in the park... it's probably safe to bring a crossbow.
for first time sluggos; beware, this is NOT a race. this is a non-event. we make normal fat-ass events, look like the london marathon. this is BE-Low key. if you finish, if you come out of the woods alive, and if ya got ten u.s. dollars; for your efforts, you will receive the "World Famous, 100% cotton, Team Slug T-Shirt." if there is some food / drink you need to finish; please bring it. i assure you we will not have it; as with all slug events we will serve stale bread, and pond water (unless it's frozen).
If you've told me your coming; all good; but shoot me a quick note, confirming; and i look forward to seeing you in january. remember this event is limited to the first 39,500 entrants. (so register early) we hope to surpass the nyc starting field. and yes, katie holmes has been invited; and no, lance hasn't. team slug don't want no girly bike riders in our forest.
happy days, the big brown pony...
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