pokey crawls out of swamp....

on hands and knees, barely breathin'...and reports disturbing phenomena. hitman went in with her on saturday morning, and has not been seen since. he apparently disappeared while taking a "main-drain" down at the water's edge. the fbi has NOT been notified, because of other "outstanding issues in virginia, florida, and the phillipines involving ranger rick, pink ribbons, coconut-covered marshmallows, and naked ladies." BIGGER PROBLEMS LURK ... pokey is reporting something slogging around in the slug-pond, and IT definitely "ain't" da'hitman. IT appears to be a large fish-monster of some sort, scaley and green, with large bug-eyes and a tail about eight feet long. this of course would explain the missing downstate delaware geese. regardless of all this "likely criminal behavior" the non-event will go on. pitiful sluggos will plod all day long, and finish the slug course. some will be lost forever in the forest, wandering out in the spring; looking ghoulish, distraught, and emaciated. and, likely; they'll have on the same black slug shirt, ripped, shorn, and hanging over a beatin' heart inside a bag of bones. friends ... this AIN'T pretty stuff ... please !!! for Goodness SAKES ... find something else to do on the first saturday in january. coming here for the SHIRT can lead to no good; DO NOT DO IT !!!! this is your last warning.... flatfoot freddie....