Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Fattest Butt... T minus 59 days !!!

...that's less than two months for you smart sluggos; so the planning must begin. flatfoot freddie has been in consultation with The Weather Channel, and an old witchdoctor friend in n'oleans. they seem to agree on one thing. fatt butt day is gonna be colder and wetter than last year's non-event.

it wouldn't be unusual for us to have a foot or two of snow on the trail. which, normally wouldn't be a problem; except for the extremely steep drop-offs, and treacherous precipices that often form; up to six feet thick; as glacial ice overtakes the deepest and darkest forest. throw in the central delaware womkpon wolves; and you're taking your life in your own hands. in fact; i certainly advise you not to come. and, if you must; then definitely bring cold weather gear, 7000 yards of high-tensile climbing rope, crampons; and at least a weeks supply of dried beans. any less, is just too dangerous. remember; no firearms in the park... it's probably safe to bring a crossbow.

for first time sluggos; beware, this is NOT a race. this is a non-event. we make normal fat-ass events, look like the london marathon. this is BE-Low key. if you finish, if you come out of the woods alive, and if ya got ten u.s. dollars; for your efforts, you will receive the "World Famous, 100% cotton, Team Slug T-Shirt." if there is some food / drink you need to finish; please bring it. i assure you we will not have it; as with all slug events we will serve stale bread, and pond water (unless it's frozen).

If you've told me your coming; all good; but shoot me a quick note, confirming; and i look forward to seeing you in january. remember this event is limited to the first 39,500 entrants. (so register early) we hope to surpass the nyc starting field. and yes, katie holmes has been invited; and no, lance hasn't. team slug don't want no girly bike riders in our forest.

happy days, the big brown pony...

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