Sunday, September 30, 2007

TSI announces 2008 Fattest Butt..

The 2008 Fattest Butt will be held at the Central Delaware Slug course on Saturday, January 5, 2008. All Slugs and Potential Slugs are invited to attend. Fat Ass Format, No Aid, Fees; etc. Swamp water and Stale Bread will be provided. Long range forecast predicts extreme levels of snow and freezing rain. Snow shoes, ropes, and crampons will be permitted due to technicality of course. As always, TSI highly advises you not to attend , and, as always; some poor souls will! And, I love them.
First Accepted Entrant to TSI's next non-event is:

Mr. Louis D'Onofrio of New Jersey... congrats my young friend!

As always sending good wishes to all da' slugs and slug wannabees alike...
happy days,
flatfoot freddie.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Team Slug's 18th Fall Birthday Run...

...this year on Saturday, 9/29, the Russell B.Cheney 50K+ was won by Mark
Crisman of Ft.Meade, MD. He successfully defended his title by completing the
course in 4:16:10. First woman was Alisa Springman of Mercersburg, PA who
finished in 4:53:37. Crazy Horse Award winner was Amanda Bundek of Dover, DE in
6:56:06. Special congratulations to Jim Simpson of Huntington Beach, California
who completed his 496th marathon/ultra. Full results; story and pictures, will
be posted to by Sunday evening.

Tonight Team Slug sends best wishes to all runners competing in the Delaware
100-mile Run, at this hour, near Newark, DE. Our thoughts and prayers are with
you. God Bless America and God Bless all of our troops, wherever they are
serving this evening. The Hitman.

Friday, September 28, 2007

See ya in the da' pond....

NON-EVENT Director Lisa says,

All set Sluggo's...ready to rock and roll;
another good crowd expected; remember, the right folks ALWAYS show up!!!
please be at gate at 745; and be smilin' for Ranger Rick;
this is NOT an EVENT; this is a group of old slug-buds,
goin' for a long trainin' run...JFK is coming!!!

happy days,
pokey :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Slugs / Potential Slugs...the end is near....

and, three outstanding young americans have come to their senses, just in the nick of time, and will not be attending saturday's HUGE non-event. i congratulate them on their wise choice. if you are one of the majority still planning on attending; i have great news. russell b. cheney can not attend this year due to commitments involving the foreign legion, some unusual tropical plants, and the daughter of an undisclosed u.s. know what they say; what happens in tijuana, stays in tijuana...but, hey; russell didn't leave us high and dry. he's sending mister jim simpson all the way from california to evaluate our entire operation. pending his approval; team slug will co-op a newly formed, top-secret group currently being recruited by russell himself. (it'll be similar to the Slugs From Hell ); and require superslugdom credentials to be offered admittance. so, let's be on our best behavior. no coconut covered marshmallows, no roasting the delaware flyin' squirrels in front of little children, and i've already notified the governor to not let Big Bertha into the state the entire weekend. it's a small state; we can do it. so friends, i'm excited. pokey slug was out at dawn skimming pond water; and i stopped by the bread outlet to get the several-day old crusty stuff. it's gonna be a jim dandy day. remember, its NOT a race; it's a group of friends meeting to get in a long run. JFK is comin'. y'all be good; and see ya's saturday at da' pond. flatfoot freddie.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

dang, the weather is SWEET in delaware today...

friends, only TWO weeks until rbc...and we have 17 entries! while it is understandable that a Rookie Slug would want to come and get the "World-Famous" black 100% cotton slug shirt; i really can't think of a good reason for anyone returning. however, i'm always glad to see ya's. finalizing plans as of today, the course has been marked every three meters with color-coded ribbons imported from Shanghai. they have those sparkly little gold filaments in them. the course was also completely repaved, and the hills have been moderated to not rise more than a 3% grade at any one spot. splinter-free, hand-carved, mahogany hand rails are now in place; and we stuck a WiFi hotspot out near the campground; for those slugs carryin' laptops. pond water is available during the entire loop (bear off to the left approximately 20 yards); not one slug has every died of thirst at this non-event. pokey slug is reporting the delaware diving squirrels seem to be thriving this autumn, so that may be a concern. please bring rodent whistles if ya have them. if not they'll be available at the starting line for a nominal fee. which reminds me; this run is free (it is NOT an event / it's a handful of friends getting in a long run). first time slug finishers may purchase a slug shirt after finishing for ten u.s. dollars; and veteran slugs may purchase a "trinket" for ten u.s. dollars --- they don't need to finish. they're already slugs. you also will be paying a park entrance fee; 3 to 5 bucks i think. please try to be at the killen's pond gate by 745, and til we get settled in the parking lot; we probably won't start until 830. if you have any questions / concerns please contact me at (302)678-3325.

looking forward to seein' all, happy days, john.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Friday, September 14, 2007

Army Slug coming home for RBC !!!


Count me in! Was able to slip out of Iraq a little
ahead of schedule and will definitely be at RBC.
Celebrated my safe arrival home by running Stumpy's
last weekend running and enjoying every last mile of
it. See you in a couple weeks,



and from pokey


Hi John!!!

I took yesterday off from work and got out for a nice 2 hour run at the pond. Rest assured that the man-eating deer are still out and one got a snuffle of this old slug, so all slugs beware, they are waiting for us! The Blind Squirrels were out and about, dropping things from the trees onto the trails. There were lots of turtles out sunning themselves, which serves as a distraction from the ankle grabbing roots. I think the course is almost ready for those brave souls who have entered. The pond water is also almost the correct shade of green for tasting, hopefully it will be there by the 29th.
Hope all is well with you. I am looking forward to catching up with everyone. I got my entry in for Umstead next year for the 50 miler, while Down and Durty Slug Derrick is going to attempt the 100 miler. I am bringing famed RBC RD Lisa as crew for the event. She is looking forward to RDing at RBC and has big plans for outsmarting Ranger Rick.
Have a great weekend... I'll be out at the pond tomorrow morning if you're up for it 302-359-XXXX!



Welcome also to Alisa Springman of Mercersburg, PA !!!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

God Bless our Troops...

and God Bless America !!!

Message from Brother Russell B. Cheney


Re the 2007 Team Slug RBC 50K: The following might be used in communications with participants / potential participants, but please feel free to use, use part of, or not use any of the following in any way you deem appropriate:

People have asked me of the 230+ marathons / ultras that I’ve done, which is my favorite, or the best, or the toughest, etc. I have never been asked which is the most intimidating. Is that because it is assumed that marathoners have NO FEAR? Speaking for myself, that is certainly not the case.

The Leadville Marathon, with its advertised start at 10,000 feet, 13,000+ foot maximum altitude (at Mosquito Pass, including possible snow scrambling), 12,000’ of elevation gain and 12,000’ of elevation loss, got my attention. There were rumors of running surfaces like rocky riverbeds and like 8” ball-bearings on a 30-degree down-slope: neither rumor individually was true; both taken together were.

Or how about my first marathon? I knew no marathoners at the time. In reading the official runner instructions for the 1990 Los Angeles Marathon it stated in no equivocating terms a number of infractions the runner could commit that would summarily result in the runner’s immediate and public expulsion from the marathon by event officials (this was a televised extravaganza so one’s family could be presumed to be watching), including (but not limited to) lining up outside the runner’s designated starting corral, use of a long list of steroids and other drugs that I had never heard of (testing to be supported by a potentially wide variety of means of extracting bodily fluids for chemical analyses), running other than on the designated specified marathon route, and disregard of any official’s instructions during the event. Almost needles to say, I lined up and stayed in my “designated corral” until I was entirely certain the starting gun had been fired. As it turned out, not only was I the only participant in my “designated corral”, but none of the other 20,000+ participants were even visible – because of a curve five blocks ahead in the road – and no “enforcing” event official was visible. I waited in totally weirdly empty streets.

How about Boston? The country’s oldest marathon, and perhaps the most prestigious. Seemingly all the world’s greatest and fastest runners for the last 100 years had participated. Internationally televised. Noon start. Bussing to the start. Corrals again. Only certified qualifiers permitted entry. Would I be trampled? Would I understand anything said by all the Bostonians speaking like President Kennedy? Rumors of the aggressive pressing crowds screaming and taking over the porta potties.

The race directors of some ultras seem to think the more maniacally intense the race description the more appealing the event for potential participants. The Big Bend National Park 50K in Texas seems to delight in its location which boasts of more species of cacti than any other in the Union (the Horse Crippler, for example, purportedly is capable of putting a 6” needle-sharp spike clean through a horse’s foot or a running shoe), plus scorpions, Gila Monsters, vultures, virtually all desert plants in the area covered with remarkably effective thorns (example: the Cat Claw Bush), unbelievably low humidity, and guaranteed jagged four-wheel-drive roads. Add to that, rumors of banditos, smugglers, illegals, and desperadoes crossing the border for your water, Gatorade and wallet.

One of my favorites: Crown King Scramble 50K: Arizona boasts the most species of rattlesnakes of any state in the US. “No humidity problem” = no humidity. 6,000’ rise start to finish on the topo rumored to be 12,000’ cumulative, accounting for all the intervening assents and descents. Snow, ghastly “sticky” mud, clear skies same-day temperature from start at 35 to finish at 90 degrees: take your pick. Share the four-wheel-drive trail with a rumored fabulous showcase of dust-producing raucous off-road vehicles: Jeeps, SUV’s, ATVs, dirt bikes, motorcycles, and indescribably creative modifieds.

Don’t forget DC’s Heritage Trail 50K: Guaranteed scuttling through drainage pipes, clambering over barrier fencing, dodging frenzied Washington traffic, creative course marking (or not), trail mazes, scrambling in river beds, tracking through playground sand (complete with children), and exploring potential alternative routes. Rumors of prior-year native-DC participants being lost no more than 40 minutes, secret routes to stay on course known by few, course-map in Chinese, course briefing in Greek.

But one of my all-time favorites: the Race Director personally contacts each potential participant and conscientiously attempts to DIScourage their participation, including graphic descriptions of the deep wood’s voracious ankle-wrapping roots and the moving trail-rocks, terrible grades, horrendous bridge crossings, trail co-use dangers, hazardous lack of close aid-stations, possible perilous overcrowding, slippery leaves and pine needles. Rumors persist of strange creatures inhabiting both the pond itself and the surrounding forest (the trail never being more than a few yards from the water and virtually always within the woods, leaving the desperately-fatigued and confused runner appallingly vulnerable), of participants disappearing and later reappearing in ethereal form, of strange vapors rising from the pond at all hours, and deep snow banks.

So I conclude that by far one of the most intimidating endurance runs that I have yet so far attempted has been the last described: the awesome Delaware Team Slug 50K, the magnificent creation of John Harper himself.

I was audacious enough to participate at the last two presentations, and I am so sorry to be unable to participate this year!

Russell B. Cheney

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

entries pouring in '08???

13. Sam Adams (friend of King Slug...apparently from Ohio)
14. Francis Cannon , The First State.
15. Mark Johnson, PA
16. Tom Curtis, PA
17. Alisa Springman, PA
18. Mark Crisman, Iraq
19. Ravi Gooneratne, NJ
20. Peter McLaughlin, DE
21. Joan Messick, USA
22. Brigitte Sheehan, Trail Dawgs

hope all are having a terrific year;
happy days, flatfoot freddie.

Monday, September 03, 2007

2007 RBC50K Information Sheet

All Friends; Slugs and Potential Slugs

Thank you for your interest in TSI's 2007 RBC50K non-event on Saturday, September 29th . This is the 18th consecutive year Team Slug has held a fall ultra. I'm looking forward to seeing a couple of old friends and welcoming a few others into the Slug Kingdom for eternity. As with all Slug events this is a "50 Kilometer Non-Event." That means we won't be qualifying for Boston, and also means do NOT contact Ranger Rick asking for information. I assure you if we have to bushwhack, and climb over electric fences again this year; we'll never finish by dark. I will time the event and count laps with my moon-dial.

This is a ten loop run, 3.1 miles around a pond on a single-track path(same course as Fattest Butt), and certainly would be considered Ultra Entry-Level. The course is flat, though there are some roots to trip over, and with any dumb-luck at all we'll have torrential rain, or some trail flooding. I will supply minimal aid (stale bread and pond water) If you have some particular food/drink stuff you must have to finish, please bring it. If you have spouses or friends available to come along and help at start/finish area it is greatly appreciated. Most of my buds/fellow Delaware Slugs are in Iraq on an extended vacation. All finisher's will receive The Official Team Slug T-Shirt, unless you already have one; then you will receive a TSI trinket.

There are no particular rules. My main request is that if you come to run please plan on finishing. I don't care how long it takes. If it does get dark, we'll abscound from the parking lot, find an alternate entrance, and, i'll bundle up, and go back out with you. We're in no hurry. Second, please don't break 4 hrs. If necessary we can add a lap for folks that are too fast. Please come to have a nice, long run...make a new friend or two.

Finally, we will meet at approximately 0830 hours in the morning, and the non-event will start shortly thereafer, in the Killens Pond Main Parking area. Basically from the North it's Rt 1 South to Dover, and follow directions on map. From the South it's Rt 113 North to Dover, and from the West it's across Bay Bridge, and then right through the Cornfields of Delaware. Can't get here from the East without a Fishing Vessel. A very big one. Any questions please call; my home phone is (302)678-3325 and cell is (302)399-6409.

A Ten US Dollar Cash Donation (to pay for shirt) will be accepted the morning of the non-event. As always, TSI offers a full money-back guarantee if you are not satisfied with the run. Finally; this run will happen if i'm breathing. No cancellations for weather, etc. I'll see y'all on Saturday morning, September 29th.

Happy Trails

Amanda "Pokey-Slug" Bundek

Non-Event Director

CONFIRMED VICTIMS registered for the 2007 RBC50k

(If you're name is missing; and a FEW PROBABLY ARE; and tsi / big bertha promised you a slot, please contact tsi immediately at; Sometimes big bertha gets to thinkin' about ole john clark, and screws up!)

1. James Moore, MD
2. Rebecca Moore, MD
3. Amanda Bundek, DE
4. Derek Hills, MD
5. Will Kerchner, NY
6. James Simpson, CA
7. Rick Beyer, VA
8. Tony Creszenzo, PA
9. Louis D'Onofrio, NJ
10. A.J. Johnson, NJ
11. Rob Powell, OH
12. Mark Johnson, PA