Greetings From the Heartland...

and, first let me say Congratulations! to all the new Slugs; and welcome (i've been following the '08 fattest butt story). there are hundreds of lies about this little gang of hoodlums, and how each came to be slugs. my entry into the "Warped-World" of Running Man & Co. came in the fall of 1990. and, it is TRUE. in the spring i had graduated from florida state university in tallahassee, and september found me sitting in a graduate statistics class at ODU in norfolk, virginia. just two seats in front of me, and one aisle over sat this short, barrel-chested fellow, that always seemed to be happy and gawking around. but, that's not what drew my attention to him. rather, this squat little fellow always seemed to be talking...about...running, and then giving you a funny, wicked smile. come on slugs, you know which one i mean, right???

now i was no athlete, though i did "throw back some serious 12 oz. curls" at fsu, back in the day. then, there was the intramural jello wrestling. but, i'll save that for another letter. as the semester wore on, myself and this odd fellow became fast friends. and we talked, running. and not just jogging for fun, 5k stuff, but marathoning; and intervals, and protein shakes, and hundred dollar pairs of shoes. he seemed to have a one track mind. just when i thought i'd heard it all he told me he was running fifty miles this weekend.

course, i didn't believe him; but did agree to meet him out in western maryland, at a tiny, teenie, little ultra-event; best known as jfk. and he ran, and wobbled, and struggled, and finished. i was smitten, not with this "psycho endurance athlete" but with the idea or running until i couldn't run any further. course the thought was fleeting, and once i saw his toes, and the way he walked for three days, i quickly came to my senses.

until about a month later at mr.taco in virginia beach. we were sucking down tacos and inhaling some cheap beer. life as graduate students ... GUUUUUDD. we were feeling better and better, and as drunk young men do began to get incorrigible toward one another. bottom line, he challenged me to finish a Slug-run, and i was so "wasted" i agreed, shook hands, and signed in ink. there WERE witnesses(who were sober). now, i don't know about you all, but in iowa where i come from a man's word, is his word. it was a done deal. my ass was grass.

so, da'hitman convenes every sluggo in southeastern virginia; and conjures up this fifty kilometer track run...in TWO days. i can't back out, and i can't lie; though i'd never ran over five miles, he had convinced me i could finish. First mistake, i believed him; Second mistake, i wanted that Black Slug Shirt way too bad. though i can't lie, to this day, 16 years later, it's still my favorite t-shirt (though folks never believe how i came to get it)

there's not much else to tell. the pic at the top says it all. i did finish; 124 laps in just under nine hours. it was not pretty, and i was not happy about it. but, i refused to quit. i would prove him wrong, and take my shirt home. and i did. and i was pissed at him for months. i was sure he'd tried to kill me. in fact, i've never ran again, NEVER, not even a 5k. but, i'm still a slug.

and, now after all these years; i look back on that day with great joy. further, i'd share that i've been fortunate to have been loved by a lot of family and friends in this lifetime; but there are few that have given me what that "insane, dangerous, smiling, barrel-chested slug" gave me on that cool saturday morning all those years ago.
as my olde drinking buddy flatfoot fred would say...
happy days,

john "mr.clean" sorenson
president
tsi, iowa farming division

p.s. all those nasty rumours about the mayor's wife in amish country are true :)

My First Ultra: Team Slug Fattest Butt

Sluggos,

Here's a great read, from a Beautiful Lady, and Brand-New Slug.
I know it's a bit long, and most of us "ain't" that bright,
but this one is worth your time.

She also has a nice blog at; http://1inthedistance.wordpress.com

Friends & Family back in Carolina call her Andrea B.
but, to the Slugs she'll always be Tiny Broken-Hiney.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nonevent: Team Slug International Fattest Butt 50K (approximately 32 miles)
When & Where: 8:20 a.m. Jan. 5, Kent County, Delaware
Results: 6:05 (1st female)

While focusing on marathon training for the past several years, I’ve been inspired by knowing several ultrarunners and especially by watching merigayle persistently finish her first 100 mile run at Umstead last year. On Saturday I joined their lowest ranks as I took my first strides beyond the marathon distance. Those not quite nimble steps were at times challenging and humbling, mostly fun, and always in good company:

Kickrunners DEturtle, Durt, divaleh, merigayle, SGH, roots

Last fall, I decided to put any remaining fitness from the Kiawah Island Marathon toward a 50K. The ultrarunning group Durt and DEturtle are part of, Team Slug International, organizes an informal one each January outside of Dover, Del. The Fattest Butt 50K "nonevent" is TSI’s variation on a "Fat Ass" run.

As it turned out the Fattest Butt would dramatically change the appearance of my own derriere and, in the process, become the week’s second and true Wardrobe Malfunction run.

Festivities started Friday night when some of us met at a Dover Italian eatery for pre-run carbs. Between bites of bread and pasta, first-timers divaleh and I had many questions for ultrarunners DEturtle and roots. Then it was time to do the usual race preparation routine of getting my gear and clothing ready to go for the morning before bed.

The next morning I woke up a few minutes before my alarm and did not want to get out of the very cozy, warm, and enticing pillow-top bed. I could have stayed under the covers all day. After a few minutes of coaxing, I forced myself from the comfort zone and quickly dressed to converge upon the well-stocked hotel breakfast for coffee and my usual pre-long run meal: oatmeal with peanut butter. DEturtle came back to lead a caravan to the park. Race Director Durt ushered us in and runners began casually setting up water and fueling items on picnic tables. Everyone was exchanging introductions and appearing very relaxed. The pre-run routine and atmosphere drastically contrasted marathons, where I get up three hours early to digest breakfast and arrive at a starting area swarming with striding runners and buzzing with nervous energy.

After a short briefing and prayer the run started. Again there was no typical road marathon start of jostling and swerving. Heck, there wasn’t a Start line! DEturtle led us out on the 3.2-mile packed dirt trail circling Killens Pond. We would retrace the route 10 times to reach the 50K distance, passing through the picnic area each time for provisions. The sun brightened a partly-cloudy sky and made the 30-degree air feel comfortable.

I spent the first two loops running and chatting with merigayle and divaleh, and trying to memorize the trail. Durt’s directions had been a simple “keep the pond to your left,” and after the first two loops I felt oriented and ready to spend a little quiet me time in the woods. Gradually I pulled away and hoped I would meet up with "the girls" in the late loops when I anticipated needing encouragement. I had not done any training specific to a 50K other than run a marathon four weeks earlier, recover for a very easy week, then return to regular easy running with one 16 mile long run thrown in on Dec. 22. Total winging it. Everyone had assured me that was more than enough as long as I took the 50K at an easy pace, but I was still questioning my sanity and a little bit doubting if I could complete the distance. It seemed like such a long way, so I decided to simply think of it as 10 loops instead of a specific amount of mileage.

Even for a coastal dweller, the course’s few small inclines barely intensified my breathing. To give my legs a break, I began walking the “ups” and otherwise running the “flats” and “downs.” Without nearby trails to run regularly where I live I was overjoyed to have a good part of the day ahead to be on the path, and spent some time in appreciation of the surroundings.

Before coming in to the aid station for Loop 5, I noticed that my hands were starting to swell. I usually don’t experience that so early in a long run, especially when drinking Gatorade as I had been. I spent a little extra time at the picnic area and took an electrolyte tablet along with a portion of peanut butter and honey sandwich for some extra energy. I had a surge of energy and motivation as I headed out, and was ready to make some good progress.

My pace picked up to what felt like marathon pace and I had the sensation of flying along the trail. It was a serious runner’s high enhanced even more by the natural setting, always my favorite for reflective running. Last night at dinner we had talked about a different event, the Self-Transendence Marathon in New York, but I felt on the verge of my own enlightening endurance episode in the middle of Delaware. On his 6th loop, roots caught up to me now, and I was enthusiastically evangelizing about what a great trip I was having:

“I feel amazing! This is so much fun!”

“It’s such a beautiful day!”

“I just have to watch my footing a little more on this trail! Especially the downhills! I feel a little off-balance going down!”

“But, this is THE BEST!”

Wheeee … I took flight and time slowed as I floated peacefully for what seemed like 10 seconds before coming down hard on my right side. THUD! So much for self-transcendence! I was shocked to find myself face down in the dirt. Not wanting to break the great rhythm I’d had, I moved to get right back up – but was stuck to something. My running tights were clinging to a small stump that left a 3″ hole in the seat of my tights as I stood. roots walked with me for a minute and I remarked “Damn, this is the second time this week I am running with my ass hanging out!” He instructed me to put on his extra pants when I got back to the picnic area, then ran ahead so I could focus on staying upright rather than on talking to another runner. I took two Tylenols to prevent any aching and felt truly lucky to be uninjured and pain-free after that fall. I quickly resumed running, but at a more conservative pace and with my eyes firmly fixed on the trail. When I came upon hikers, I covered the hole with my hand which I'm sure looked ridiculous -- a runner going along grabbing her own butt.

Back in the picnic area there was a little show & tell with my boo-tay boo-boo. Durt and the Assistant Race Director Debbie immediately began showing their genuine concern by taking close-up photos of my bloody butt, but Durt did graciously help me put on the other pants. They fit perfectly and after a cautioning to take it easier and be safe by race volunteer John I was ready for the second five loops.

Maybe it was the fall or the break in momentum with a longer stop, but Loops 6 and 7 were groggy. I wasn’t running slower yet, but I felt less coordinated and alert. I kept thinking how a nap would be perfect and daydreaming about that pillow-top bed I’d get to crawl into later. Everyone told me I would have a low period, so I figured I was experiencing the ultra lull. It still wasn’t anywhere near the struggles I’ve worked thorough in marathons, so I just thought positively, kept up my electrolyte-peanut butter sandwich combo at the aid station, and waited for the fatigue to pass. I got a small boost when I came up on DEturtle, who is the cutest ultrarunner ever with her assortment of running skirts and always positive attitude, even though that day she was fighting a fever.

By Loop 8 I felt revived and like a lifelong native of the trail. By now I could anticipate its landmarks: There’s the first bridge. There’s the place where I fell. There’s the cabin area. There’s the good view of the pond that’s just starting to freeze. There’s the tree where dozens of lovers carved their initials.

Before leaving the picnic spot for Loop 9, I knew finishing would be easy and said to Durt “After the next loop I’ll be an ultramarathoner, and one more after that one, I’ll be a Slug!” My legs were heavier now and I was slowing, but still only felt like walking the “ups.” I discovered what merigayle had told me was true, that starting to run again after a walk break is very difficult on tired legs. So I just kept running.

To make sure I learned whatever I am supposed to learn, on Loop 9 just as I noticed I was coming up on the spot where I’d fallen, sure enough I was bowing before the trail gods on hands and knees again in the exact same place. This time I had been shuffling instead of charging, so I got up, shook it off, and kept moving forward. In the aid station I briefly chatted with Durt before setting out on my last and final slog around Killens Pond.

During what I told myself was “the victory lap,” I took a little time to try to come to some personal conclusions about the tiny amount of experience I now had in the sport of ultramarathoning. I would finish in around 6 hours, the longest duration I have spent on a single episode of any physical activity. The whole endeavor seemed a bit ludicrous, yet I could honestly say I’d had a good time the whole way. Being outside on trails has long been therapeutic to me, and something I've dearly missed especially during the last couple years. This activity combined trail time with my favorite sport of distance running. Coming up on 32 miles with plenty of energy left, I had no problem imagining tackling a longer ultra distance event such as a 50 mile run with proper training. Still, I wasn’t sure I liked the relatively slower running pace, and at times had thought about how a nice day hike would be more fun with possibly less chance of injury. The fall had been startling, and more than once I’d thought about dearly held plans for the first half of 2008 that would be shelved if I’d broken a bone. But I hadn’t broken a bone. I wasn’t seriously hurt save for a spectacular huge bruise on my butt, and the pond loop trail was certainly not the last chance for potential injury I’ll encounter between now and April.

In a few minutes I would come in to the picnic area and see friends’ faces sharing my achievement of a personal distance record on foot. In the marathon four weeks’ prior, I was fortunate to gain a huge sense of accomplishment and reward for hard work. But as I gave the Fattest Butt its final pat, I savored feelings of gratitude, appreciation, and joy that I wish everyone could and would experience by simply putting one foot in front of the other. Running has so many rewards, but I think this is among its most precious gifts.

Running to the picnic area for the last time, I heard a few claps and cheers. “I am a Slug!” I yelled in response. Debbie and roots snapped photos of me coming in and receiving my award, the famous bad-ass black Team Slug T-shirt. Finally I was reunited with merigayle and divaleh, who finished four minutes later to all of our applause and excitement.

It was cold if you weren’t running, and divaleh and I went off to change into dry clothes so we could stay as warm as possible. The bath house was closed, so we ended up changing with only the back wall for privacy. Now we were ultrarunners, who are reputed to be the “craziest” in running circles, so stripping in the woods seemed like a natural slightly nutty thing to do. We rejoined the growing number of finishers at the picnic tables and savored delicious Cup-o-Noodles and other snacks before walking back on the trail with merigayle to loosen our legs and remove a few course marking ribbons from branches. meri's husband Turnin'Wrenches came in for his first ultramarathon and first-ever race finish as we headed out, and we got to be the first to congratulate him.

Everyone pitched in to clean up the little spot that helped keep us going that day. Runner and volunteer Slugs alike said congratulations, thank you, and good-bye to each other before spreading out in their various directions, leaving the trail but taking the rewards and memories of its 32 miles.

It was great to share the trail with fellow Kickrunners, get some great tips from meri, Durt, roots & DEturtle, and share the first-timer experience with divaleh and Turnin'Wrenches. Hopefully some more Kickrunners will post reports. I'd love to hear about the day in others' own words.

Lessons Learned at Fattest Butt

Hello Hitman and Fellow Runners,

John Straub invited me to this un-franchised, un-sanctioned, un-organized, non-commercialized, low stress, low cost, highly prized and humanized un-officially healthy non-event run. And below, is what i learned.
Happy Trails
Craig See ( 1/3 Slugger--- finished Nine Miles)

Lesson Learned (and some to forget):

1. Mud does not freeze off at 28 degrees "butt" other things do.

2. When placing one foot in a one foot deep mud hole, ensure to insert the other foot to same depth at same time.

Slugging with only one five pound foot may cause loss of positive traction rear end, a leg and toe muscle building imbalance, audit by the IRS and a total loss of control on high speed down hill curves, and/ or all of the above.

A five pound weight suspended at the end of a long extremity can also cause centrifugal force to wrap owner of said extremity (leg with mud caked foot) several times around a tree at bottom of said steep downhill. This did not happen to me but I envisioned this possibility several times while going very slow.

3. Bring an extra pair of clean shoes for short notice grocery shopping mission after an off-road race.

Wearing one large black mud covered, still dripping black water and making gurgling sounding sneaker brings weird looks from non-trail slug shoppers and various angry loud speaker calls for "Clean Up on Aisles 2, 3, 4 , and 5!"

4. Never send a lone hungry 1/3 slug guy grocery shopping with expired coupons after a race with the entire family food budget. Yes, the canned goods made it home with only minor teeth marks but that gallon of milk and bag of chips was history and I was still drooling the rest of the way home!

'08 Fattest Butt -Thanks for a Great Day!!!

Race photos are available at: 2008 Fattest Butt

What an outstanding non-event! Incredible time, and wonderful people. We really appreciate all coming out. Normally, as after any Slug event, we like to write a funny, but relatively honest account; of each runner's journey toward the famed black shirt. Today, we're going to approach it a bit differently. There's no way we can write a single article about all the fascinating human interest stories that played out in the First State yesterday. The Race Director's have to be thanked for stepping up and helping out. Derek Hills and Debbie Straub (each shown at left while sober) were excellent in performing their duties. They also were entertaining beyond belief, and I'm not talking about the Ginger Brandy incident(I do have proof). They are genuinely kind-hearted and loving folks. So thanks, your time is appreciated. Without volunteers we couldn't have handled this many participants. What I would ask this time is if you were here and ran, and would like to share some thoughts, please send them, we will post. I've included the "Official" account, sent off to Ms.Tia at UR, and the official results. CONGRATS to all the Slugs, olde and new alike!!! happy days, da'hitman.


Memories Made in the First State

Each race we attend brings the opportunity for meeting new people, and renewing old friendships. And many of our Slug friendships are now approaching twenty years. We are thankful to the ultra community, for two decades of challenge and flat out fun. As the Slugs and potential Slugs lined up on the first Saturday of the New Year in the First State, it was hard not to reminisce of years gone by.

Traditionally, we like to include each finisher in our Slug summation. That is because at Team Slug we consider each finisher a great hero, a master of their physical and emotional strength, and a Lifetime Slug. And, they receive the World-Famous black slug shirt to prove it. Today we can’t honor each one, but a few must be mentioned. First, A.J. Johnson, a veteran Slug, ran near the front all day, pulling away in the closing miles for his first win with us. But that’s not why he’s a hero in our book. Rather, A.J. introduced ultra running to his close friend, Jeff Holloway, trained with him, and encouraged him all the way to the finish line. Now Jeff is an ultra marathoner, and a Slug. Look for them at JFK, there is no doubt in my mind they’ll finish together.

On the women’s side, we were blessed to have some determined athletes; using their friendship to turn the day into a joy for all who surrounded them. Coming out on top was Andrea Berninger, who had run in the lead pack all day. She overcame many obstacles on the course including blown over trees, deep swampy mud pits, and a serious contusion on her back side. She easily won the best blood award, but it didn’t deter her from completing the distance, and finishing first among the ladies.

We also had a mother and son finisher. Aaron and Patti Lipschutz ran near each other all day. Aaron, a college student in Boston, was home on Christmas break, and the pair decided to make the quest for the Slug shirts a family affair. What a pleasure to witness the love and compassion of a mother and son. With all that appears wrong with our world, spending the day with their family seemed to ease everyone’s burden. Aaron said his mom really wasn’t a runner, she was a biker. But today, she had enough energy to finish the long winter run.

So another chapter closes on Team Slug, and we remind all our ultra running friends. Your finishing time is not so important, not who you are. There are always those faster, and slower, than you. What is important is that you don’t give up. When you wake up and pull on those magical running shoes, step outside into the cool, fresh air, and begin to put one foot in front of another, you are fighting the good fight. You are making things better for yourself, and for those around you. So from Slug-land, thanks! Hope to see you on the trails, real soon.

Flatfoot Freddie

TSI's Fattest Butt
January 5th, 2008
Kent County, Delaware

1. A.J. Johnson NJ M 4:26:00
2. Frank Gousman, Jr. NJ M 4:27:00
3. Josh Dennis NJ M 4:36:00
4. Jess Manning DE M 4:51:00
5. Lloyd Thomas OH M 4:52:00
6. Steve Wehrle NJ M 4:55:00
7. Louis D'Onofrio NJ M 5:09:00
8. Gilles Barbeau BC M 5:22:00
9. Dan Rosenberg NJ M 5:32:00
10. John Straub DE M 5:46:00
11. Jeff Holloway NJ M 5:49:00
12. Ravi Gooneratne PA M 5:58:00
13. Andrea Berninger NC F 6:05:00
14. MeredithMurphy PA F 6:09:00
15. Staci Rudnitsky NY F 6:09:00
16. John Lysinger MD M 6:14:00
17. Aaron Lipschutz MA M 6:35:00
18. Patti Lipschutz PA F 6:47:00
19. Phillip Hesser MD M 6:47:00
20. Anders Grant MD F 6:51:00
21. Richard Monroe MD M 6:51:00
22. Larry Macon TX M 6:52:00
23. Carl Camp DE M 7:05:00
24. Edward Murphy PA M 7:14:00
25. Eugene Bruckert IL M 9:20:00

28 Starters, 25 Finishers.

*Miguel Verdun Gomez of VA, finished 27 miles in 8:20, and
was awarded a "Slug Mug" for the 2nd consecutive year. There
is no doubt in my mind he would have finished the 50K,
had he not fallen into the sinking mudd hole... I know,
I found it, and fell in, while sweeping the course,
this morning :)

18th Fattest Butt in the books...

...and I am tired. And, grateful. What a beautiful day in Slug-Land. 28 wonderful ultrarunners stepped up to the plate in Kent County, Delaware, to take a swing at Slug immortality. For when one finishes a Slug-run; one is intiated forever into Slugdom. For the young flashy, fast runners; it may not mean much, and the black shirts earned / worn proudly by many hundreds of previous athletes may be tucked away in the drawer.

But my friends, I have been doing this long enough to know some things. First, everyone Slows Down. You may not believe me, but just wait ten, or twenty years. You'll either slow down, or retire from running. And, when one slows down one looks back at those days when they were younger, and free; and the bright sunny ultra days gone by, seem like joyful drops of memory, raining love onto their souls. And one things for sure. The Slug-runs may be small and disorganized, but those running them know why they're here. They are drawn here, to become part of something that can not be bought. It has to be earned, with sweat and determination.

I usually struggle with the pictures to post on the site or blog. Not today, I wanted this one up, to remind us all of what is important in our lives. It shows a mother and son (Patti and Aaron Lipschutz of Philly and Boston, repectively), together earning the Slug-shirt. They obviously love each other dearly and have countless memories to share. Now they have another, and God I am so thankful to have been a part of it. This is what matters my friends. Your family, and those close to you. Tell them you love them, and hug them every chance you get. Time is precious, and Life is shorter than you think.

Happy Days,
da' Hitman.

p.s. Full Story, Results, and Pics will be posted to www.teamslug.com within 24 hours.

T - 15 hrs...and the excuses are pourin' in;

...the non-sluggos are finally coming to their senses. i've had two cancellations in the past 24 hours, and their excuses are outstanding. i'm tempted to send out a black slug shirt for the best story about "why i can't come to the slug-run." let's face it, those who decide not to come, are probably much wiser than the rest of us. getting out of bed on a cold winter's morning, trying to find delaware (the state is not even on u.s. maps prior to 1787), and then being forced to death-slog through a forest inhabited by known predators, on a minimal sustenance of pond water and stale bread. there just ain't nothin' pretty about it. NOTHIN'. furthermore, the park rangers aren't sure if that swamp monster in the pond has legs or not. one things for certain, that monster's definitely big enough to ambush, and then chomp on some poor unsuspecting, weary, delusion, cold, and frightened sluggo. if you don't believe me, just ask derek; he was danged lucky to escape the beast last january. as a last minute precaution, i'd advise all to carry pepper spray, timber-bug repellent, and finish before dark. you know, just to be safe.

From the All-Niter to All-Slugs...

Sluggos,

A very Happy New Year's wish to all the Slugs. I've waited until the very last minute to send this because I was still hoping to participate in the Fattest Butt (even as a bandit), since the field was full, including the lottery, with all those that could not get in. I do know it is the best non-event to start '08. Tell all we said hello, send LOVE and will be wishing we were there.

All-Nighter and Sluggette

Happy New Year to Slug's everywhere!

Team Slug has made it to 2008. Chief Slug Running Man himself called from a drinking establishment of ill-repute (complete with scantily / not clad ladies --- i know because, he sent pics over his phone) in Panama City Beach last night to send greetings to the Slugs. He is very excited about the "State of da' Slugs." We are just one short year now from reaching our 20th Anniversary year (Fall non-event 2009); and are hoping for a TSI Reunion Run. He's thinking Florida or South Carolina (home of the famed, and super-secret Slugs from Hell, so we'll see as it gets closer.

Here in the First State, we're now just a few days from the Fattest Butt. This will be the 18th Consecutive year TSI has held this non-event, and we have a good field assembled. Lots of prospective Slugs have registered, and i expect most to finish. Wisely, hundreds of past Slugs are not coming; though we do remember and appreciate each one of them.

At Team Slug, our goal is to keep moving; and as any / all of us grow older, we're going to slow down and slug / slog. But, we're still here, and still moving. And to us, that's what counts. So we're glad to have you along, no matter what level of "speed" you bring to the course. Of course, speed is relative. There is always somebody, faster or slower; always!

I've also been fielding several questions related to Slug merchandise and the Cafe Press. It was set up by Pavvy, The Big Brown Pony. And, if you don't know him, then i'm sorry. He is one of the Greatest Slugs ever to pull on a black t-shirt. He runs slower & longer, than anyone i know. While I haven't personally used the service, several of the Florida Slugs have ordered off the site, and are satisfied with their purchases. Again, i've seen pics of the thongs --- it ain't pretty :)

For the prospective Slugs coming to Fattest Butt; you will have the Opportunity to purchase one of the Original Black 100% Cotton Team Slug t-shirts. While we are not an "Official Club" and this is a "Non-event"; you will always be a member of our little gang of bandits. Running Clubs / Running Events may come and go; but Slugs are Forever. Veteran Slugs who've already earned the shirt will receive a Team Slug trinket, this year the Finisher's Mug. It is two-sided with the Slug logo on one side, and this logo on the other:



I believe several of you all have a collection of them from past years. Running Man asked me to share that the 2008 Russell B. Cheney event, to be held on September 27th (da' Hitman's birthday); will feature a Team Slug 20th Anniversary Beer Drinking Stein. This is in honor, and at the special request of Brother James "The All-Niter" Moore. Wow, I wonder what James will do with a beer stein ???

Finally, the TSI Executive Board is finalizing the decision on the upcoming TSI 2008 Hall of Fame announcement. I think you all will be pleased. OK, I'm back off to Key West to do some surf fishin' with Running Man. No doubt, da' Hitman will assure that all coming to Fattest Butt WILL enjoy their day amongst Slugs.

Happy New Year,
Flatfoot Freddie

Slug Course fraught with danger...

...i was out this morning, snooping around the course. wet leaves are still covering the foot hazards, and the wooden walkways (over the swamps) are like ice. you can skate across them, and one slip, you're going over the edge. all in all, the trail is in fair / good shape. till you get to the last half mile. construction continues! so i sneaked around looking for a good path to cross back over to the start / finish area. due to the increased pond-monster sightings ranger rick has guard dogs and snipers posted. we definitely won't be sneaking through the construction site. so, i found an old trail, maybe a quarter mile long to hash through. i'm gonna call it the gary cantrell section (if you don't know who g.c. is then you need to come to my house after the run and drink some brew.) i wish all a happy new year. be careful out there this evening, if you're going out. i want to see ya next saturday. happy days, john.

Final Preparations underway for ’08 Fattest Butt….

The course appears to be in fair/good condition, though there is continuing construction on a short stretch. This will create a minor detour, but won’t add significantly to the mileage. Pokey and I were out on it yesterday, and there are a lot of leaves covering the roots, stumps, and other assorted bumps. This means, especially if it’s wet, you’ll probably need to slow down a bit and be extra careful. While the course is basically flat, there are some very short hills (up and down); and stretches of wooden walkway (covering swampy areas) that when wet get slick as sh(i)t. No joke, if not careful you could easily break something out there. Nearly each non-event someone departs good ole Dela-where requiring a couple of stitches. Makes for great pics, but we don’t want anyone hurt.

OK, you’ve seen the non-event instructions below. This is NOT a race. We’re a small gang of slugs / potential slugs; out for a long winter’s run. Please check in promptly at 800 AM in the main parking lot, one mile inside the main entrance of the park. I’d love to get you all started by 820, definitely no later than, 830. Following each loop, I ask that you check in with whoever’s keeping the times. I’m a runner myself, and know exactly how we are. We may be non- competitive as haile, but we still want our times right. I can dig that. However, we will be operating fat ass format, skeleton crew, and need your assistance.

TSI will supply pond-water and stale bread, though Pokey (and she knows) advises you not to drink it. Please bring whatever food / drink stuff you need to finish. A communal table will be set up if you would like to bring anything to share.

There is no time limit, but the park closes at dark. You’ll have approximately eight hours to finish. If you are not finished, we will move the vehicles outside the park, and somehow we’ll work out a deal to let you finish. There is no reason to quit, except you don’t want to run no more.

All first-time finishers will have an opportunity to buy the slug shirt, and if you’re one of the vets I’ve got some sweet 2008 Finisher Slug-Muggs. Also a few truckers’ hats are left over from the fall if you’re interested. All are Ten U.S. Dollars, or trade, in-kind. Other TSI logo apparel may be purchased on-line at Café Press.

Finally, I appreciate you taking the time out of your winter schedule and joining us for this non-event. We always have a good time, and I’m excited to be seeing some old friends, and meeting some new ones. If you have any questions / concerns my home number is (302)678-3325, and my cell number morning of race is (302)399-6409. See ya in less than a week.

John.

Chief Army Slug checks in...

...and will not be attending Fattest Butt. That means the field is wide open, and we could be welcoming a new champ into the fold. Mark sends the following greetings:

Dear Da' Hitman,

Nearly settled in San Antonio; nice to be focused on a
different part of world for a change. The middle east
was starting to wear on me. Wanted to pass along my
holiday wishes. Unfortunately, I will not be able to
make this years fattest butt. I will however be
thinking of you all as I attempt the Bandera 100K on the
same day. Hopefully the race director won't keep on
telling me I'm running too slow; always a tough crowd
at the pond!

Have a great new year,

Chief Army Slug

Mark Crisman

{...and of course, he's referring to nearly breaking four hours,
and then having the non-event director (Ms.Lisa, my personal favorite
Non-Event Director in the whole world) tell him he's slowing down.
It really was funny; but suppose you had to be there...}

Of course, as the years pass; the "words between the two" will
become more and more exaggerated, until they are outright lies.
It's the Slug-Way.

Merry Christmas Sluggos ...

Yes, it's true ... Santa is a Slug. Don't act surprised; check out his bee-hind in this picture. Probably the Original Fattest Butt. Happy Days Friends, and Merry Christmas.

2008 Fattest Butt Instructions...

1. This is a Non-Event in the truest of olde-tyme fat ass fashion. This is a group of friends getting together on a winter morning to complete a long run. Due to the lack of ultras in the First State we will have a timekeeper, and results will be posted on the internet and submitted to Ultrarunning Magazine. UR has for many years, been kind enough to support our small band of stragglers. This will allow those attempting to complete a marathon / ultra in fifty states to notch up Delaware. It is NOT an official event. It will NOT qualify you for Boston.

2. There will be no numbers for you to wear, no aid stations, and no markings on the course. If you see Ranger Rick wish him a fine day; but remember, we are not holding an organized race. We are olde & new friends, sluggos, out getting some early season exercise. This is one rule Team Slug has never had to exaggerate about. We have been disorganized from Day One.

3. The course is not marked. It is a hiking path around a pond. It is mostly flat, and certainly must be considered one of the easiest fifty k’s in the world. Ten loops, with access to your aid after each five kilometers. Team Slug will supply pond water and stale bread. If you need any special food / fuel to finish; please bring it. Feel free to bring extra; there will be a communal table. There is NO time limit, but the park closes at dark. If necessary, we will move vehicles outside of park to a nearby school; and assist you in finishing your run. We’d prefer you not quit.

4. Again, this is NOT a real race. There is NO entry fee. That’s right, it is FREE. Bandits are encouraged to participate. There are no particular rules. Cheating in an ultra is completely defeating the purpose. However, if you complete the tenth lap in less than four hours; you will either be disqualified, or allowed to complete one more lap. We don’t want any more fast slugs; we’ve got enough of them.

5. If you finish ten laps; you are authorized (not required) to purchase the World-Famous 100% Cotton, Black Team Slug T-Shirt. At that point; you will be scarred for Life / a Marked Ultra-Runner / a Slug Forever. Be aware hundreds of the finest and lousiest ultra runners in the world have earned this shirt. If you already have a T-Shirt, a 2008 TSI Finisher’s mugg will be available for purchase. We have a few truckers’ hats left over from the fall also, if you prefer one of those. These are available for Ten U.S. Dollars each. Trades in kind considered.

6. Please be at the main entrance of Killen’s Pond State Park in Kent County, Delaware by 0745 on Saturday morning. The gates usually open about 0800, and we should get the run started by 0830. Please don’t ask me for directions. Delaware is a small state. If you can’t find the park, it wouldn’t be safe for you to be near the pond. I will have my cell phone on that morning if you need to reach me. The number is (302)399-6409.

The field is set for the 18th Fattest Butt....

Congrats to all...
Details in next week...or so !!!

...The Lucky Twenty-Nine....
Fattest Butt Confirmed Victims:

1. Amanda Bundek, DE
2. Derek Hills, MD
3. Louis D'Onofrio, NJ
4. Gilles Barbeau, Vancouver, BC
5. Jess Manning, DE
6. Josh Dennis, NJ
7. Phillip Hesser, MD
8. John Straub, DE
9. Debbee Straub, DE
10. Larry Macon, GA
11. Mike Kulakowski, PA
12. Meredith Murphy, USA
13. Edward Murphy, USA
14. A.J. Johnson, NJ
15. Jeff Holloway, NJ
16. Carl Camp, DE
17. Alisa Springman, PA
18. Miguel Gomez Verdun, VA
19. Andrea Berninger, NC
20. Terri Hayes, SC
21. Frank Gousman Jr, NJ
22. Staci Rudnitsky, NYC
23. Lloyd Thomas, OH
24. Richard Monroe, MD
25. Anders Grant, MD
26. Patti Lipschutz, PA
27. Aaron Lipschutz, PA
28. Eugene Bruckert, IL
29. Craig See, DE

pokey crawls out of swamp....

on hands and knees, barely breathin'...and reports disturbing phenomena. hitman went in with her on saturday morning, and has not been seen since. he apparently disappeared while taking a "main-drain" down at the water's edge. the fbi has NOT been notified, because of other "outstanding issues in virginia, florida, and the phillipines involving ranger rick, pink ribbons, coconut-covered marshmallows, and naked ladies." BIGGER PROBLEMS LURK ... pokey is reporting something slogging around in the slug-pond, and IT definitely "ain't" da'hitman. IT appears to be a large fish-monster of some sort, scaley and green, with large bug-eyes and a tail about eight feet long. this of course would explain the missing downstate delaware geese. regardless of all this "likely criminal behavior" the non-event will go on. pitiful sluggos will plod all day long, and finish the slug course. some will be lost forever in the forest, wandering out in the spring; looking ghoulish, distraught, and emaciated. and, likely; they'll have on the same black slug shirt, ripped, shorn, and hanging over a beatin' heart inside a bag of bones. friends ... this AIN'T pretty stuff ... please !!! for Goodness SAKES ... find something else to do on the first saturday in january. coming here for the SHIRT can lead to no good; DO NOT DO IT !!!! this is your last warning.... flatfoot freddie....

Ted Corbitt --- courtesy of Rich Innamorato

Dear Friends,

Today the music has died.........for the running community and for humanity.
Ted Corbitt has sadly passed away at the age of 88 at the MD Anderson Center
in Houston, TX. He bravely was fighting a personal battle against cancer,
but had developed heart and respiratory complications which could not be
cured.

I was able to visit Ted this past Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. It was
heartbreaking to see this giant of a man in a hospital bed. When he first
saw me, he amusingly asked, "You flew?" I am a notorious bad flyer, and Ted
had witnessed some of my previously anxieties. I responded, "Weren't you
glad that you weren't in the seat next to me."

I greatly thank you for all your heartfelt messages, and so did Ted. He was
not able to read them, so I read each one to him with a brief introduction
of the "writer" of each message. Your words were very comforting.

We all know his legendary feats as a runner, but he was even a far greater
person.

He was a humanitarian. One of his great gifts was not to prejudge people
just as he would not want to be prejudged. He accepted you for who you were
and allowed you to be yourself.

He was healer..... and dedicated his life to provide cure and comfort to the
critically disabled and injured. He was still treating patients just before
his latest illness.

He was a scholar. He had a great propensity to "learn" no matter the
subject matter. His own success, whether it was cerebral or physical, was
due to that desire to learn. And how he could apply the newly-found
information the next time.

He was a marvel. How he would push his limits no matter the obstacles.
Even as an octogenarian, he walked 303 miles in 6 days while enduring shin
splints. Life was a series of tests for him, and it was the partaking that
was the most important not the passing or failing.

He led by example every single day, and his character, dedication, kindness
and values all touched our lives. We are richer to know him or know of him.


May he always live in peace and be blessed by God. I will greatly miss him.

Love,

Rich Innamorato

ROCKSTAR checks in !!!

...ok all ya hardcore sluggo-fans. The ROCKSTAR (Honorary Slug allniteywoblius) has registered, and has promised a guest appearance..."to burn off a few brewskies." as many of ya know he is the founder, and race director, of the First States ONLY "One Hundred Mile-Run." while his 8 X 10 autographed glossies are currently going for $129.95 on e-bay; he's promised to make a dozen or so available at $75.00 flat-fee. of course, there's no tax in delaware. remember the ROCKSTAR only accepts "dollar bills," only goodness knows what he does with them. as always, John Clark and the Governor has been invited. More details coming!!!

don't mix insanity with beer....

...or you get these types of letters...

Forest Gump said...
As your newest victim it’s important to remember that I have been coerced into running this non event. I don't even like to run. Your slugger from last year AJ Johnson has guilted me into the event threatening to alert our entire community that I have become comfortable and accustomed to sloth. Consider the results of last event I was forced to participate in. I was found, suffering from heat exhaustion, aimlessly wandering a rest stop along the Garden State Parkway, mumbling incoherently with the juice of a BK Whopper dripping from my mouth. There is serious concern about my mental well being. This weekend when I told some friends about the non event they affectionately asked what my problem was. Consider yourselves fore warned. This weekend , after only four hours of sleep I was dragged out onto the muddy trails in South Seaville, NJ by AJ and forced to run under duress. I was not sure if puking was appropriate but around the 13th mile I was seriously considering lying down in the sand and taking a nap. I would have if I had not already begun suffering from the classic symptoms of hyperthermia. I will be doing my best to complete the coarse. I would suggest that all who attends bring an extra meal or reserve a room so that you are comfortable while waiting for me to limp across the finish. If you find me on the trail with my heel smacking me in the back of my head in complete agony just leave me there. Until then I'll continue preparing as best I can. Does anyone know if the local hospital accepts HORIZON PPO's?

pokey-slug on recon mission this saturday...

...as the fattest butt 50k creeps closer. pokey will be out scouting around, observing ranger rick movement throughout the slug forest. recent ice and snow has the trail mighty slickery. we sent wrong-way charlie out sunday morning, but haven't seen him since. best to keep a close eye on cnn, or fox news. he has a bad habit of climbing the fence at the white house. which, i don't mind; except when he's wearin' his slug shirt. see, i don't like those black helicopters hovering around my house. anywho, the days are flyin' by; and the field is nearly set. i expect to post full directions to this blog by the last week of december. that should give all victims plenty of time to change their minds. from the frozen tundra of central delaware...
flattest foot freddie.
p.s.direct all questions, comments, and threats to "teamslug1@comcast.net"

2007 SI Sportsman of Year...

while disappointed ole' flatfoot freddie wasn't named SI Sportsman of the Year...Team Slug congratulates Mr. Brett Favre!...a World-Famous Team Slug t-shirt is on it's way to Mr.Favre. Additionally, Mr. Favre is offered free lifetime entry into any Official Team Slug non-event. No doubt, he'd attend Fattest Butt; however, he's still playing with the Pack. And, what a season he's having! Good Luck ole buddy!!!